Hey friends -

Happy Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving's a big affair in my family. The whole family - spouses and all - convene at my parent's place for a large Thanksgiving feast. The pandemic interrupted my mother's 30+ year unbroken streak of hosting Thanksgiving dinners which makes this one all the more special.

Today's also my 31st birthday! Steak and potatoes is usually my meal of choice but, with the grill out of commission, I'll be cooking a Beef Wellington instead. It should be a lot of fun!

The letter is shorter this week so I can spend more precious time with family. If you're looking for more of the regular content, listen to last week's podcast where Steven and I explore the hidden risks in ETFs and nuances of the Bitcoin futures ETF.

In this week's letter:

• Highly reputable, time-tested cures for general ailments
• A changing landscape for bank regulation, reforesting Scotland, and more cocktail talk
• Transforming the Manhattan into a fruity aperitif

Total read time: 4 minutes, 28 seconds

Cures Worse Than Diseases

As many of us gather together as families for the first time in almost two years, from across the country and the globe, we're likely to see a spike in COVID cases. I humbly recommend the following cures which so wonderfully saved the Pilgrims and colonialists such that we may celebrate Thanksgiving today.

Don't worry about which cure is for which disease and other such unimportant details. I have been assured that all are time-tested and multipurpose in nature.

Intermitting fever

If you are suffering from an intermitting fever, alternating between cold shivers and hot sweats, try a "gentle vomit" two hours before the next chill. If that fails, you can try cobweb pills - one before the first shiver fit, two before the second, and three before the third. I suggest you stock up from your local pharmacy before the CDC makes a more general recommendation.

Head cold

Perhaps it's not a fever but a head cold! You can likely solve for this at home without so much as a trip to the store. Cut an orange rind into thin strips, make two rolls with the pith facing outwards, and shove them up your nostrils. If it doesn't clear your cold, at least your gathering will be entertained at dinner.

Gout

While not strictly COVID-related, you may experience a gout flareup in a hand or foot from overindulgence while feasting. Feat not! Simply save some raw lean beef and apply it to the appendage every 12 hours until cured.

Nicki Minaj's Cousin's... disease

Back in September, Nicki Minaj dispensed words for wisdom to her 24+ million Twitter followers for those considering getting the COVID vaccine.

Nicki Minaj @NICKIMINAJ

My cousin in Trinidad won’t get the vaccine cuz his friend got it & became impotent. His testicles became swollen. His friend was weeks away from getting married, now the girl called off the wedding. So just pray on it & make sure you’re comfortable with ur decision, not bullied

September 13th 2021

25,800 Retweets151,268 Likes

If only her cousin had known the cure for inflamed testicles! Mix cumin seeds with warmed cow dung, spread it on leather, and apply it to the swollen area. Replace it once cold. It typically works within two days.

Unresponsive

I leave you with a course of treatment, but not one for the faint of heart. Use only in the case of an emergency.

If a member of your Thanksgiving feast falls suddenly unresponsive, the best course of action is to shock them back to reality. Attempt bloodletting first. If that fails, try to provoke sneezing by poking snuff up their nose and vomiting by pouring ipecac down their throat.

While your friend or a family member has likely already come to, if they remain unresponsive it is likely due to a build-up of bad humors that cannot escape through the blood. Shave the person's head and apply a hot pan to create a boil so that the humors may escape. You may also try Dutch fumigation as a last resort - blow tobacco smoke up their... well you can probably guess how this goes.

While the cure did not save the Earl of Kent, it can't hurt to try.

If in the unlikely event these remedies fail you, please refer to the 1710 A Book of phisick and the East India Company's 1617 The Surgeon’s Mate for additional cures.

Cocktail Talk

• The Acting Comptroller of the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, one of the primary banking regulators, proposed a significant rethink of how banking regulation works. Most regulation is developed ex-post - we allow the financial sector to experiment and reign in activities after they've been tested. The speech recommends a shift to ex-ante - before activity has begun - and expanding the "regulatory perimeter" to include the many fintechs who pursue bank-like models but are not in fact banks. (OCC)
• India will attempt to outlaw cryptocurrencies while concurrently launching a central bank digital currency. This is the latest in an episodic attempt by the country to reign in cryptocurrency activity. The proposed approach parallels that of China and is more focused on preventing currency competition than it is on protecting consumers. (Reuters)
• Scotland's forest cover is back to where it was 1000 years ago! It's part of a larger story where much of the northern hemisphere, mostly wealthier countries, is reforesting more and more land while the southern hemisphere continues to lose forest cover. The story is more complicated than any individual year can show. Countries go through a deforest-then-reforest journey as they become wealthier and consumer demand changes. Insights like these can help us curtail the still-ongoing deforestation of the topics. (Our World In Data)
• Competition among cities plays out on much longer time horizons and with different dynamics than businesses, but they compete all the same. Startup cities are the idea that cities can innovate on their economic, governance, legal, lifestyle, and community structures to create differentiated and attractive spaces that enable the city to outcompete rivals. Devon inventories and details cities across the globe that are experimenting today. (Devon Zuegel)

Your Weekly Cocktail

A mellowed-out Manhattan, courtesy of David Lebovitz.

French Manhattan

1.5oz Cognac
1.5oz Dolin Sweet Vermouth
0.25oz Cointreau
1 dash Angostura Bitters
1 Maraschino cherry, for garnish

Pour all of the ingredients, except for the cherry, into a mixing glass. Add ice until it comes up over the top of the liquid. Stir for 20 seconds (~50 stirs) until the outside of the glass is frosted. Strain into a coupe glass. Garnish with the cherry and enjoy!

Even though it's only small changes from the traditional Manhattan (rye, sweet vermouth, Angostura bitters), this drink takes us far afield. The traditional rye base focuses the drink around spice, whereas the cognac focuses the drink around fruit. Cointreau plays that up even further and it's only mildly offset by the bitters. The result is an entirely new drink where sweetness prevails despite the alcohol-only composition. A lovely aperitif in advance of a rich Thanksgiving feast.

Cheers,
Jared

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